


Projection

by teardrops_on_ghostly_wings



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Caring Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Mental Health Issues, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 07:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26469118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teardrops_on_ghostly_wings/pseuds/teardrops_on_ghostly_wings
Summary: Even after the apocalypse has been averted and Crowley finally gets to freely love his angel, he still struggles with the trauma of being cast out of Heaven. His plants provide a form of therapy but once Aziraphale finds out things will change for the better.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 67





	Projection

**Author's Note:**

> There's been a lot of debate about this but I'm firmly of the opinion that Crowley does in fact kill his plants when they displease him. He's might be a big old softie but still has a lot of repressed trauma so I think it would be very therapeutic for him to destroy things in a safe way. As someone who occasionally buys plates just to smash them in the garage because I'm terrible at expressing my emotions any other way, I like to think Crowley's quite similar.

"You lot have been very spoiled lately but don't start getting soft on me. Just because daddy's in love doesn't mean any of you should start thinking I've gotten weak and will let you get away with disobedience. The angel isn't here right now and his mercy can't save you from me forever"

Crowley prowls along the rows of plants, mister at the ready, looking carefully for any blemishes. He's almost satisfied that the plants have picked up on his good mood and decided not to test him when he notices a small Anthurium trying to hide. With a growl he picks up the plant and gives it a shake, scowling when he sees it's leaves drooping and multiple leaf spots.

Slowly he spins in a circle, making sure all the other plants can see it "Did you all think you could hide this from me? Did you think I wouldn't notice you disobeying me? You know how I feel about this kind of behaviour, I will not stand for this"

With one last shake of the potted plant he stalks out of the room, throwing a glare over his shoulder to make sure they're all watching. Crowley throws the plant down onto his kitchen table, listening to his other plants shaking in fear in the other room. He shouts a few more curses to make sure the rest of the plants seem suitably intimidated then focuses his attention on the misbehaving Anthurium. 

Carefully he runs a finger over it's leaves, shaking his head in disappointment "You've made me very upset you know, I had so much hope for you but now you're nothing but a failure. You're supposed to be better than me, I raised you to be perfect but now you're no better than a disgusting dirty demon, I hope you're happy with yourself"

Crowley starts to pick up the plant and move towards the garbage disposal but freezes when he sees Aziraphale. The angel's standing in the doorway of his plants room, watching Crowley with something close to horror.

They stare at each other for a long time before Crowley feels his face flush red and he clutches the Anthurium to his chest "Zira what are you doing here? I thought we agreed to have dinner not lunch"

"We did" Azriaphale says softly as he walks closer "I thought I'd come over and see if you were amenable to a walk in the park"

"Good idea angel, I'll be done in a second, I just have to deal with something first"

Crowley turns away in shame but before he can move the angel's arms are around his waist and he's being held tight. Aziraphale gives Crowley a firm kiss on the cheek before looking down at the sorry excuse for a plant in Crowley's hands.

\--

Saying that Aziraphale was surprised by the scene he walked into would be an understatement. The angel always knew Crowley loved plants and had some of the most beautiful flowers in London but never imagined this. Crowley's never been mean or violent or unnecessarily cruel but here he is being all three to his plants without hesitation. Aziraphale's heart aches to think about how long this must have been going on without him realising how much Crowley was hurting. He can't claim to be the most stable person, being more fond of human pleasures than any respectable angel should be, but Crowley takes it to another level. 

Falling from Heaven and being cut off from God's light must have cut deeper than Aziraphale ever imagined. He's well aware he can never understand the pain and trauma the Fallen went through but he's tried his best to support Crowley. Spending your entire existence worshiping another being before having everything ripped out from under you would mess up anyone. Even after ending up in Hell, Crowley was still shunned and abandoned so all he has left is these extremely unhealthy coping mechanisms.

This whole situation is very delicate so all Aziraphale can do is try to soothe his partner and deal with it properly later. Gently he reaches down to stroke the plants leaves and give it a smile "There you go dear everything's ok, you know I won't let him hurt you, you're beautiful you know"

With a horrified gasp Crowley rips the plant away from the angel and cradles it to his chest "Angel you can't do that, if you're too soft on them they'll think they can get away with bullshit and it'll ruin all my hard work"

Ignoring Crowley's harsh words Azriaphale steps forward again to wrap his arms around Crowley's neck to pull him in for a kiss. The demon sinks into it for a minute before pulling back with a gasp "We can't do this in front of the plants, they don't need to see this"

His partner is quite possibly the silliest person ever but Aziraphale indulges him, moving further into the kitchen, out of sight of Crowley's plant room. After a proper kiss Azriaphale moves back and tries to tackle the plant problem again "My dear you know I love you more than anything in the universe but be honest with me here, are you verbally abusing your plants?"

Crowley's face flushes even more red and he splutters "It... It's not abuse, I'm just... I'm teaching them a lesson to make sure they know what's expected of them"

"You know I wasn't born yesterday my darling, are you abusing your plants?"

"Maybe a little bit but only because-"

"Crowley I asked you a question, are you abusing your houseplants? I want a yes or no answer, nothing else"

Cowering under the force of Aziraphale's stern voice, all Crowley can do is look down at his plant in shame and nod. Immediately he's wrapped in Aziraphale's arms, held close to the angels soft chest. 

When Aziraphale lets go he gives Crowley another firm look then points at the shaking Anthurium "Apologise to your plant my love, it hasn't done anything wrong and deserves to know you're proud of it"

It's obvious that's the last thing Crowley wants to do but he's always been terrible at saying no. Aziraphale's lived too long to be ashamed of gently bullying Crowley into doing what needs to be done, especially when the demon's own mental state is at risk. Even before they got together he jumped at any opportunity to please Aziraphale and it always seemed to brighten him up in the process. 

Awkwardly Crowley pats the plant and hisses "I'm sorry for calling you worthless and saying you're no better than a disgusting demon, I won't do it again"

There is zero chance of him following through on that promise which Aziraphale knows too well. Changing his negative mindset is going to be a long process though so this is as good as it's going to get. 

After giving the demon a gentle kiss as a reward Aziraphale clamps a hand around his arm and walks his partner back into the plant room despite protests.

Lovingly the angel takes the Anthurium and places it right in the middle of the others, making sure Crowley will see it every time it comes in. This incites much whining from the demon but Aziraphale isn't going to bother listening to him until he has something proper to say. If he listened to every minor complaint the demon made and tried to accommodate all of them he'd have gone mad millennia ago. Instead he pulls Crowley over to the Anthurium and holds him in place "Tell it again how you're sorry, say it's beautiful despite it's flaws and you love it no matter what"

It takes a lot of frowning from the angel but Crowley eventually gives in. He gives the token complaints expected but with his lovers arms around his waist, he doesn't seem to truly mind. His hard exterior covers up a heart made of marshmallow, especially where Aziraphale is concerned and he's getting better at letting people see it. 

Crowley apologises to the plants 3 more times before Aziraphale's satisfied that the message may have gotten through. Finally Aziraphale softens and leads him from the room, smiling briefly at the rather fetching shade of red the demon's face has become. 

Once they're alone Crowley looks utterly lost and does nothing but sink into the hug Aziraphale offers. The angel rubs his partner's back and whispers comfort to him, aching in sympathy for his lover. Crowley's body trembles helplessly and he eventually tries to talk but only manages to get out "I... Angel please... I can't... I need..."

Gently Aziraphale shushes the demon and buries a hand in his tumble of red hair, massaging gently "You're ok my love, I have you darling you can let go. I'm here for you and I won't leave your side until we've worked through this"

"It's not..." Crowley mutters, clinging tighter to his angel as he searches for the words "We don't have anything to work through, this has nothing to do with you"

"I know pet but it has everything to do with you and I would like to be by your side when you're struggling. There are many ways for you to express your emotions which don't involve harming something you love so dearly"

There's no good response to that so Crowley can only shake his head and hide his face away from view. Seeing those stunning, expressive golden eyes is always preferred but Aziraphale knows he'll always succumb to his snake instinct of hiding. 

After a long silence Crowley mutters "They deserve it, don't make it more than it is"

Aziraphale pushes the demon back far enough to get a look at his face and very firmly states "They do not deserve it and neither do you Crowley, it's ok to treat something with the love I know you feel"

When that doesn't get a reply either Aziraphale has a short battle with himself before saying what needs to be said whether Crowley wants to hear it or not. 

"Crowley my love you don't need to rule with fear and cruelty because you're not God, you're better than God. Maybe I will fall for such blasphemy but it's worth it, nothing will change what I feel in my heart. Demons are not supposed to be kind or care for living things or feel love but you do all those things. You're merciful and gentle and so so loving. You're the most amazing being alive and no human, demon or angel could ever come close to you. I love you with everything in me and I wish you loved yourself like that too my dear. God was wrong to cast you out and abandon you but that does not change your worth, you're still perfect inside and out. I know you're hurting and taking it out on your plants makes you feel better but you don't have to. There are so many other options and I would be honoured if you would let me help you find them so you can heal" 

Crowley's body completely stiffens but he doesn't make any moves away from Aziraphale which the angel takes as a good sign. Often he has immediate visceral reactions to things he doesn't want to hear so the lack of shouting provides a sliver of hope. 

They stand entwined in the middle of Crowley's kitchen until the demon's whole body heaves and he breathes "I don't deserve you angel, what have I done to earn such a treasure?"

"You deserve every good thing in the universe, if I have not made that clear enough already it appears I have a lot of work to do"

Crowley presses his nose to the soft layer of skin under Aziraphale's chin and takes long slow breaths. For almost as long as they've known each other Aziraphale's caught the demon taking sniffs of him and is well aware that he finds it calming. He's never quite understood how, particularly in the early years before cologne existed, but would never deny his partner of it. 

When Crowley pulls back his eyes are watery but he gives a more genuine smile than the angel's seen all day "If I didn't love you so much I'd hate you for making me an emotional mess"

"I do apologise dear but you do need a more healthy outlet. Oh I do hope I wasn't overstepping by offering my assistance, human's seem to believe mental health is something very personal"

Aziraphale catches a glance of Crowley's normal cheeky self as he quips "I've known you since creation angel, a little late to start having secrets or keeping things private"

They smile at each other fondly as their history flashes through both their minds before Aziraphale slips his fingers into his partner's "Come now dearest, I believe there's mugs of cocoa and biscuits with out names on them. We can have a lovely morning snack and a good long chat about the future"


End file.
